CHANGING COLORS

The bible says we are to lay aside self. I often call it dieing to self.  Think of it like fall trees.  The leaves may be dieing but the tree is now beautiful.  Eph. 4:22-24

Self you might as well say is sin. It is the sin side of us Christians. We have no problem living in self as it is so natural. The Lord said we would have this side until we die. But He also said we were to lay it aside.  

Ephesians 4:22-24

22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

Years ago I was so critical of everyone and I mean everyone. It was so easy to see their faults and criticize the things they did. Self does feels superior when we do this. We become self righteous, by basing our righteousness on someone else unrighteousness.  But if we examine ourselves we begin to see ourselves as we really are, sinners.

I cannot say that I never criticize anyone but when I do I immediately am convicted of it by the Lord. It is just that I listen to the Lord's conviction on it now.

How this all came about was when the criticism started to be directed at the ones I loved. Someone as close as a friend, husband, church member, or adult family member.

You start off with seeing one fault, they have. You may even hint, suggest, something or just out and tell them in your own way what they are doing and expect them to stop.

Of course until the Lord brings this to their attention, they more or less ignore you. You become angry inside. Then you see another fault, and of course you have a cure for that fault, but they do not take your cure or even see their fault. Then you see another and another and another. Pretty soon there is hardly anything they do that can make you happy.

You yourself become miserable and angry inside. It is suddenly how you feel everyday when you wake up. You try to love them and be happy but just can't. Before you know it the love you felt for that person is being destroyed by the enemy.

What do I mean by the enemy. There is a spiritual world going on around us that we cannot see. The Devil and his angels set out to destroy our witness to others. It was not hard for the enemy to manipulate me as a fault in someone would be noticed and from there my sin nature could do the rest. 

The problem is it destroys Christian relationships, my witness, and  my happiness as well as individuals involved.

When I saw this my first reaction was what do I do.  How can I stop this.

1.   Ask forgiveness from the Lord for the sin of judging and most likely criticizing too.

2. Trust in the Lord for all circumstances and changes to my loved ones.

3. Ask the Lord to show me every time I started to do this and immediately put aside self

4.  To be content with my circumstances and the people around me.  After all the Lord is in control of my life, isn't He?  Which goes back to trusting the Lord.

5.  To look at the good things about my loved ones. Think about the things I loved about them.

6.  To leave those people in the Lord's hands to change.

I was to love them, be patient with them, forgive them, etc. Also to realize that I have faults too.  I was not to be judging them. That is for the Lord to do. He is the only one that can change or even get a person to change, including myself. This does not happen overnight.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

What I have found that works completely, is to do the above and ask God to show them their fault. Also if they are doing wrong (or I think it is wrong) to show them and if I am wrong to show me.  This is how I put it in the Lord's hands

This has worked years for me, and the Lord has been faithful to do just that. You do have to accept what the Lord answers!  

This took a lot of work between the Lord and myself. The problem is we do not want to wait on the Lord to do the teaching and changing in the ones we love. We want change now. The thing to remember here is we are to lay aside self.  We must not let these thoughts even start. We must not let the enemy manipulate us and ruin our relationships and our witness.

What is the main thing our loved ones want? I do not know about any of you, but the main thing is to be loved the way I am. To understanding that we are a  work in progress by the Lord. To have patience with me.  This might mean suffering my loved ones faults and mistakes.

I found out that the suffering and laying aside self leads to blessings we could not imagine.

Thank You Lord for your answers to our problems.

Nina